Feels

I am sorry, I owe you guys a real post.  I’ve been kinda down lately (well, ‘kinda’ is relative, i suppose) and with that comes all the usual guilt.  “Everybody’s got their own shit, Kate; stop burdening others with your crap.  You don’t even have a reason to be depressed.  Nothing that has happened to you is as bad as what’s happened to somebody else, so quit whining.”  You know, the usual vicious downcycle.  Fed into by the fact that a couple people I know In real life have asked me not to write about it, actually.  They like my style, but not my actual content. 

And while I admit I haven’t been wandering much lately, originally I started this with the surefire knowledge that the only one I could actually count on to read this was me.  And I want to write about what i want to write about.  I want to write about robots and WOW and random things like that, but I also want to put some thoughts into words and start coming to terms with Who I Am and Why I am Here.

So, with that in mind, I’m staging a hostile takeover of my own blog.   I am going to write, and sometimes it’ll be weird and disjointed like the other day.  Sometimes, it’s going to be about depression.  Spoiler warning: I’ve had to deal with depression most of my life, so it’s going to be a pretty big part of this blog.  If you don’t want to read about it, I totally understand.  Come back when I write about robots. 

With that in mind, I want to tell you a story.  It is not about robots.  It is from my childhood.

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HI!

It was a busy day at work today, and all my topic ideas are depressing.

So Instead, I will share with you a poem that i just wrote right now:

I write on what I’m feeling;

I feel an awful lot.

Sometimes sadness is the theme

and anger is the plot.

I do not want to burden

the ones that I hold dear,

so I hide it in the open

to camouflage my fears.

I know every silver lining

must depend on clouds to bear,

But sometimes my depression

can kiss my derrière.

Love, K8

© Kate Mileur,, 2013-2014. All Rights Reserved.